I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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