3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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