Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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