So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize