how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
