And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize