I hate all girls vehemently.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
