Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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