I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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