In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
