We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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