yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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