PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
