Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
