Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
