laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
