What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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