It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
