CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
