We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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