Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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