Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
