I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
