My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
