first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
i think i just lost a toe
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
