1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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