My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
