So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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