i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
