So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize