I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
