Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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