told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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