so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
