Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
