playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
