I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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