Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
