Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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