i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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