you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
