it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
