i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
