Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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