i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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