I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
