yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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