I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
