she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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