Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Randomize
