There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
