8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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