I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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