nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
soo... how was my night?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
