ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize