We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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