I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
