So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize