I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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