we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
