if i died would you start the facebook group?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
