I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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