i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
